Ladies, You Must Speak up
Blogs By Heidi
- May 2, 2024
I’m going to tell you about a very real, and sad, phenomenon that I am seeing an awful lot of in my coaching practice. It’s happening so often that I feel the need to talk about it openly in the hope of encouraging even one reader to take my advice on board.
90% of my clients are women. Bright, successful, motivated, clever women who have reached mid-life and are noticing their health starting to slip. Some have slipped so far down the cliff they are lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom.
Now, these women have often found themselves in a mess through no fault of their own. They are simply dealing with a ton of different stressors, such as menopause, kids leaving the nest, careers, mortgages, job loss, marriages, elderly parents, and perhaps some lifestyle habits that aren’t supporting them in the best way.
And they know they need help. So, I get a call, or an email, or a booking in my diary and we start to chat. They know they are in a pickle and are ready to make changes. They are motivated, committed and focused.
We discuss the coaching programme which would be the right fit for them, and they say “yep, let’s do it”.
Then comes the kicker.
“I just have to discuss it with my husband.”
At this point, I am 90% sure they will not become my client.
Why?
Because the husband usually says no. He’s happy to buy a new car, or go on a nice holiday, or buy his weekly box of beer, but he won’t let his wife invest in her health.
This is a tragedy, and I am seeing it All. The. Time.
Often, she is working and contributing to the household income. She is juggling multiple responsibilities and nurturing everyone else in the household because that’s what women do. She’s tired, worn down and just wants her spark back. She knows she needs to do something because she’s suffering from her symptoms and her quality of life has gone down the toilet.
And yet her husband refuses to let her take ownership of her own health.
Ladies, if you are in this position, I urge you to speak up. Be clear on what you need and why. Explain that your poor health will get worse over time if you don’t address it now, which will have a huge impact on both of you in the long term – emotionally, financially, mentally, and physically when he has to become your caregiver (this last point is sometimes enough to shake him up a bit).
You MUST be willing to have this conversation, and I would say it’s even worth a full-blown argument over.
Because if you can’t take control over your own health, what does that mean for the remainder of your one and precious life?